Tales from the field #5.

There’s something to be said about driving one of the most popular vehicles in the country.  When you get to the parking lot, you get to park in the Silverado Section

Silverado Section

Oh look! Another Silverado. Oh look! Another Silverado…………..

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Tale from the field #4.

Setting up for Tempe on Thursday was a hoot.  The trucks had to stand in line to be allowed into the area which  had been blocked of by the Tempe Police, and the organizers chalked up the space.  I was patiently parked in line behind only one other truck.  Just before the load-in time, another vehicle pulled in past us and proceeded past the wait point down to the police line.  What?  The truck in front of me decided he wasn’t having any of this line-cutting thing, and pulled up.  I followed.  So did everyone behind me.  Turned out the guy who cut in had an anytime pass for a neighboring zone.

In traffic

The view to the front

The security person in charge of the entrance asked us to back up.  We were pretty much blocking the entry to another parking garage and a drop-off for a condo block.  Yeah, try backing up a dozen trucks back onto the street…..

in traffic

In the rear view mirror.

Perhaps not out gunned, but definitely out-trucked.

Tales from the field #3.

So this is a fresh tail.  Sorry, was that a typo?  (All will become clear in a moment.)  Behind my booth at the fair in Scottsdale, is a dispenser for dog poop bags.  There wasn’t much of a crowd while I was eating the free breakfast.  (Oh, sorry, that’s a breakfast that you paid for in with your booth fee.  I’m not much of a muffin eater, but in cases like this, You Will Enjoy The Muffin Whether You Like It Or Not!)  So I’m reading the graphics on the side of the box.  I was wondering what design innovations Mutt Mitts might have come up with in the Joys of Dog Ownership department, but it turns out they are just bags.  With instructions, in case you didn’t know how to clean up after your pet.  Apparently there isn’t yet an app for that.

dogpoopbags

Brings a whole new meaning to artificial intelligence being no substitute for natural stupidity.

The whole subject reminds me of one night I stayed with an artist friend for a show, and after the Saturday of the show we walked her dog.  She commented that if aliens looked down at the whole dog-human relationship they could misconstrue the whole scenario.  Who feeds whom?  Who walks behind whom?  Who picks up whose poop and takes it home?

The balloon of knowledge….

Here’s November’s monthly newsletter.  As an addendum, I realize I was actually working on 25 commissions in October.  When do I find time to clean the house?  Oh, wait……

Tales from the Field #2

Here’s an icebreaker I’ve been using for years – finally thought to take the picture to go with it, and found a willing victim in Boulder City yesterday.

oddshoesSomeone walks by, or walks in with a ‘boot’ on.  I’ll sneak up to them and ask “Don’t you just hate it…….when you go somewhere nice……….and when you get there, you realize………..you’re wearing odd shoes?”

This lady was with her husband, so I then asked her whether she sustained the injury because she kicked him for snoring.  She had a great come-back.  “No, but I can now!”

April one year I had that conversation then asked the lady what she’d done.  She said she’d had a new ankle the prior July, but it had broken again.  Oh, I asked – is it still under warranty?

Sonnet Challenge #6.

This challenge is another one from Pia in Denmark.  “Current events with a humorous twist.”  I wrote it as things start to get a little heated in North Korea, US has closed two Russian embassies after US embassy staff was reduced in Russia, who are about to conduct battle practices, Syria has become so much of a bar fight I’ve stopped trying to follow who’s fighting whom, and Vladimir Putin and Elon Musk are both predicting world war III will be done by artificial intelligence.  Oy vey and that’s just the stuff I’m paying attention to.

The reference to grayness, by the way is for the dissolution of the tidy black and white of the chess board.  When I wrote this sonnet, I initially did this on paper.  When I went to type it up, I typoed the original ‘Boys will be boys’ and I think it’s one of life’s better typos…..

I’m hoping that the sense of humor that I’ve used doesn’t mean I need to seek political asylum on Alpha Centauri.  (Anyone have the phone # for their embassy just in case?)

Chess
The board of international politics

is getting so much grayer than before.

The pawn, castle and king – war or not war?

What difference does this make to us mere hicks?

We hate our neighbors, but we need to trade,

and then won’t trade because we don’t approve

of how they live and hate.  Our knights outmove

and bishops all expelled, and weapons made

for what? Fists are not how you make a friend!

Boys will be bots, and this is getting dumb!

Is this the “sense” we will base AI on –

the hope and fear that this whole thing will end?

The politics these days are such a mess,

I wish they’d settle it with a game of chess.

Sonnet Challenge #4.

I’m putting these up in approximately the order that they’re being typed up in.  The other week when I was typing up the sonnets I wrote while I was in Flagstaff, I discovered a couple that I’d written in Monterey in July and had never typed up.

This is another of my San Diego fan’s suggestions.  (His topics infer that he is inspired by frustrations in life.)  “Letter to a brusque cashier at the retail store”.

The Cashier.
(read from a guy’s perspective).
The line is long, progress we make is slow,

then I catch a glimpse of the cashier’s pretty face.

If I ask to take her with me, perhaps she’ll go,

Like me, can’t wait to get out of this place.

She doesn’t make eye contact, doesn’t smile

at customers, the way she talks is flat.

The workload that she has is half a mile.

Each problem is resolved matter of fact,

each question answered blunt like they were dumb.

She’s gorgeous but her attitude’s a wreck,

stuff thrown in bags as if her heart were numb

and all she thinks of is the next paycheck.

I thank her, smile and wish her a nice day;

I turn.  She shoots a happy grin my way.