Dumb Art Jokes – Part 2 — David McDonough’s Art Blog. Thought you might enjoy this!

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From the kinda cheesy to the kinda dirty, I love jokes. That said, here are a few art related ones I recently came across in a quick web search. Mostly cheesy. . ABOVE: Richard Prince, I Changed My Name, 1988, acrylic and silkscreen on canvas, 56 x 78.5 inches —— Q: What does a momma […]

via Dumb Art Jokes – Part 2 — David McDonough’s Art Blog

Tales from the field

On Thursday I had to go over to Borrego Springs for an Art meeting.  I was held up by gazillions of wonderful visitors looking for the right place to stop to look at flowers.  Of course you can’t see flowers in detail when you’re driving at 55 – the speed limit along the S22 which for those non-locals is the only road between Salton City and Borrego Springs.

Purple flower in Salton City

I don’t know what it is, but it’s one of my ‘private collection’ because I’m apparently the only person who goes where this flower is.

By the time I was late for the meeting, I’d composed this in my head and plan to put it on a sign at the corner of S22.

Superbloom

While you’re trolling for flowers at 20,
that vehicle that’s riding your ass
is a local that’s late getting somewhere,
so please let the tailgater pass!

Sonnet Challenge #31

This sonnet has been something of a challenge – in that it is the first poem I’ve written in over three months.  Some things been going on in life that just take the stuffing out of you sometimes.

A poet friend of mine, Larry Jaffe, once wrote a poem that all poets connect with.  It had no lines, just a title: “I lost another f****** poem in the shower.”

Losing Poems

I lost a poem in the shower today –
as water flowed, it ran right from my mind.
It formed and then the liquid washed away
the verse, leaving no residue behind.
I lost a poem driving down the street –
blanking my mind, the idea began to sprout.
I listened to it, it really was quite neat
but by the time I’d parked it’d fluttered out.
And in the doctor’s waiting room one time
I couldn’t find some paper fast enough
to get it down a pen and catch the rhyme,
my turn was called, it vanished with a puff.
And I’m sure there’s many a poet that has said
They’ve lost a masterpiece, snuggled in bed.

Tales from the field #18

We are having a cold winter, that’s for sure. At least, that’s how it feels.  A couple weeks ago at the Art on Main in La Quinta, there’s was no getting warm at all.  There is a coffee shop in the center of Old Town which is very good, but the line is always long there.  I didn’t want to leave my booth for such a length of time.  That’s when you need someone who is a real fan of your work and understands the problems of a freezing artist.

Delicious hot cocoa

A fan will tell you they love your work. A REAL fan will go stand in line for 15 minutes to fetch you a hot cocoa!

Tales from the field #17

There are many challenges that the art fair artist experiences.
Usually the worst is weather. Sometimes it’s as distressing as the porta potty company letting us down on the delivery on Friday night and we arrived on Saturday needing to cross our legs until a rescue company arrived at 9:30.

Sometimes it’s a simple as needing to squeeze an old ambulance into a compact space.

Ambulance squeezed into compact parking space

I think they fudged a little on the other side.

And I thought I was doing well to get the Silverado in a compact space without dinging the van on one side and the shiny Tesla on the other!

Tales from the field #15

This past weekend I was at the Art in the Park in Boulder City, NV – the fair is a fundraiser for the local hospital.  As usual, I know a bunch of the artists there.  John Conroy was next to me, Bob Marble was across from me, Dominique Blanchard was catty corner from him two spaces in front of me and behind John was Mario Cespedes.  On the row behind Mario were Bob and Nancy Lynn.  Perhaps they figure it’s a good idea to put all the Californians together.

On the Sunday morning it rained and the crowds were a little thin to start off, but I guess everyone decided it was worth coming out for and the crowds picked up in the afternoon.  In a quiet moment I stepped into John’s booth to ask him something – a lady came in the booth from the other direction clutching a couple of Mario’s works.  She asked us – are either of you the artists for this booth?  No – but we’ll look for him, we know what he looks like.

Mario is nowhere near.

This lady’s friends are anxious to get going – Mario doesn’t have any business cards in his booth to call him to come back, and although he has a credit card machine, it’s not one I know how to work.  Nancy and Bob start looking for Mario also.  The lady’s friends agree to let her catch up with them.  I looked in my cell phone and I surprise, have a number for Mario – it’s a San Francisco number, but he wouldn’t be the only person I know whith a cell# that doesn’t match their current location – so I called him.  “Hey, you have a client in your booth, where are you?”  “I’ll be right back.”  and he hangs up.  I find a receipt book and start writing up the receipt for her.  Then Mario calls.

At this point I realize it’s Mario the photographer who lives in San Francisco.  Somewhere out there, he’s at another art fair, and was away from his booth when I called. Unable to explain in great detail in front of the increasingly anxious client, she manages to find enough cash to do the deal, I give her the receipt and off she goes.

Another lady who was sitting on a bench across from Mario’s booth, waiting for her husband has been watching this whole thing unfold.  She offers to sit in Mario’s booth and direct potential clients to me so I don’t have to abandon my own store, or to Nancy.  What an angel!  Half an hour later we still haven’t found Mario, no one has a number for him.  Went over to the organizers who agreed to call him, but at that point he turned up.  Seems like when he went to get in line to buy some popcorn, half the people at the show decided to get in line in front of him.

Oh well, at least he didn’t lose the sale.

Tales from the field #14

Ice, fire and finally, water.

hail at flagstaff

Monday morning – Labor Day – at Art in the Park in Flagstaff. I had 6 people sheltering in my booth from the hour of rain and….yes… that’s hail!

misspelled truck

On the way home in the afternoon I spent 2 1/2 hours in traffic on the 17. At some points it was so slow that I had time to be reminded that I am a lifetime seargeant in the spelling police.

jeni bate swimming

Tuesday evening…. ah, that’s more like a good water temperature. No, I’m not actually skinny dipping, the bikini is the same off-white as the parts that don’t see daylight too much.